In April of 2011, I heard the words that no one should ever hear.  “I don’t love you anymore.”  Words that cut deep and wide and leave wounds and gashes that sting with the passing of every second that will follow.  Since that fateful day, I have resolved myself to fight for my family and marriage with the strength and a resolve that can only come from our precious Jesus, the Bearer of wounds and gashes that cut much deeper and wider than I will ever know.  I rest in the One that understands betrayal like no other, and I am allowing myself to be carried by the One that has had a mulititude of backs turned on Him and love withheld. 

Ezekiel 36: 22-36 speaks of restoration and hope.  I claim it for my husband.  I claim it for myself.  I claim it for my family.

Ezekiel gave me hope today.


One comment on “About

  1. Acceptance With Joy says:

    I stumbled across your blog yesterday. I went looking for the “I can’t go down there” passage from HInds Feet. I didn’t want to bother typing it all out, but wanted to pass it on to a friend. I found it on your blog and though I didn’t have lots of time, skimmed through various posts. I am going to pray for you (the Ezekiel Girl…). I am in a very similar situation my self. April of 2011 – my husband of over a decade walked out. I did read your post that said 9/10 people might not agree with your choice to remain married. I am that tenth person. You are doing right. Keep doing right. Here is a piece of an Elisabeth Elliot book I am reading. ( I have questioned if I am doing right as well, so many tell me I am free to leave the marriage and I should, if I don’t, I am subjecting myself to…blah blah blah. fill in the blanks). But I feel convinced in my soul that 1 Cor. 13 doesn’t allow me to leave. And that my vow to my husband and to my Lord is vastly more important than my circumstances. And that the God of heaven and Earth who is completely sovereign is in charge, not me. I am rambling. Here is the passage. I hope it blesses and encourages you as it did me.

    There has often been a tendency to think of service to God as necessarily entailing physical hardship and sacrifice. Although this is not really a Scriptural idea, it has gained wide acceptance. It is easy to recall the saints who climbed the steep ascent of heaven through peril, toil, and pain, but the Bible also makes mention of Dorcas whose service to God was the making of coats. (And who can tell what pain she knew that is not recorded? It is God who keeps tears in His bottle).

    When I lived among the Auca, there were some who, from a long distance and with little idea of the actual situation, commended me for my “wonderful work” probably because they thought of it as difficult, isolated, dangerous, or even sacrificial. There were others who for the very same reason condemned me, for I had taken a three year old child into that setting. Some envied me, some pitied me, Some admired, some criticized. I could not help asking myself if perhaps I had been mistaken. Was I really obeying God, or had I merely obeyed some misguided impulse, some lust for distinction, some masochistic urge to bury myself in that forsaken place? There was no way of being sure what was in the murky reaches of my subconscious, but I was sure I had committed myself to God for His service and I knew of no other motivation. The opinions of others – whether they commended or condemned – could not alter my duty, but their very diversity cause me to carefully ponder what my duty was……

    Elisabeth Elliot ~The Liberty of Obedience

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